#sorry but i cannot be normal about the new trailer

[ibrokeeverything]

dad cole! dad cole! Dad Cole! DAD COLE! DAD COLE!!! DAD COLE!!!!! DAD COLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[balioc]

Thoughts on the Barbie Movie

Hoo boy. Here we go.

This is long. Spoilers abound.

I

The movie is not, in any normal sense, a Barbie movie (like this or this or this or whatever). It is not a story of Barbie doing the kinds of things that Barbie does in stories. It is an endlessly postmodern and self-referential movie about Barbie, which is to say, about the Barbie franchise and its role in culture. Which is, at least plausibly, an interesting thing for a movie to be.

You probably knew all that already. But it does give us a baseline of "this movie kind of had to be political and discourse-y, one way or another." Or even, to be more specific: "to some large extent this movie had to be about feminism, explicitly, if it was going to exist at all." How could you talk meaningfully about Barbie's role in culture without touching on that stuff?

II

The evaluative TLDR:

Barbie is very ambitious, and in many places very fun. It is also deeply confused, and fragmented, about what it's trying to say and do. Often it raises genuinely interested problems/scenarios and then totally fails to address them, or else addresses them in ways that are incoherent. The text knows that it's doing this, and on several occasions kind of apologizes for it; a couple of times it more or less looks into the camera and says "sorry, we're not going to deal with this properly;" but, well, that's not a substitute for dealing with things properly.

There is also a streak of genuine political nastiness running through the film, in a place where the story really cannot afford it. It...doesn't match up, tonally or thematically, with some of the surrounding material. I have no background at all in cinematic stratigraphy, but I would be fascinated to learn about Barbie's editorial history, because I have the vague sense that a more-cogent (and more-interesting) story got hacked apart and then Frankensteined together into something much cheaper and worse.

III

The opening sequence of the movie is wild. You've seen most of it -- or you can, if you haven't, and you want to -- because it is the film's first teaser trailer. Girls are playing listlessly with baby dolls; a giant Barbie appears like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey; and then the girls enter a frenzy of destruction, bashing their baby dolls' heads against the ground.

I don't know whether I would have found it as disturbing as I did, if I didn't actually have a baby of my own. But speaking from the standpoint of a parent...yeah, wow, it's more viscerally horrific than most actual horror I've seen recently. The narration says some stuff about Barbie providing a new and more rewarding set of imagination games to play, but the visuals by themselves tell a message loud and clear, which is: Barbie will turn your daughters into infanticidal maenads. It wouldn't need any editing at all to be part of a shock-you-silly Reefer-Madness-y moral panic film.

Which is really good! And really interesting! It starts us off on an undeniable thematic note: there is something primal and powerful and very dangerous about Barbie.

IV

The very best part of the movie is probably the part that comes right after the opening, when we explore the movie's depiction of "Barbieland" by going through Barbie's Typical Day, before we get into any of the notional plot or metaphysics. It's joyful and charming in a consistent way. The gags are (mostly) great. The movie is in love with its base premise, and that love is palpable.

This sequence makes one thing very clear:

Barbie treats Ken like absolute dogshit. She is a bad girlfriend.

And it's taken seriously. I mean, it's played for laughs, almost everything in this movie is played for laughs, but...it's not mean-spirited, not here. It's not, like, "ha ha, Ken, what a contemptible loser." He's Pierrot, asking for very basic forms of affection and attention and respect, and getting the door slammed in his face over and over. It's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

That colors everything that comes later.

The movie doesn't forget this, or fail to acknowledge it. At the end, after everything, Barbie does apologize to Ken for her treatment of him. It's a halfhearted and supremely unsatisfying kind of apology, especially in context, but...it's there, in so many words! I'm not making it up! This thematic foundation was laid down, not-very-subtly, right at the beginning!

V

This movie, which is at least trying to be ambitious, is juggling a million themes. Many of them are dumb at their core, and have no real promise; many of them lack any kind of narrative synergy with the others. But there are at least two which, I believe, (a) are genuinely worthwhile individually and (b) work well together in a story.

One is: What does it mean to be a symbol rather than a person? To exist, not for your own sake, but for the sake of influencing the dreams and culture of entities that you don't know and can't really understand?

The other is: What is the proper ordering of the relationship between Barbie and Ken?

I've seen a number of Takes in which people say, essentially: Couldn't this have ended with the Barbies and the Kens just being decent to each other and treating each other like humans? Couldn't there have been equality and mutual respect, instead of the weird uncomfortable girlboss-supremacist stuff that we got? And I sympathize with that impulse tremendously, but the honest answer has to be: No. We cannot have simple equality and esteem between Barbie and Ken, not in a movie like this. That would be a lie. Because this is a movie about Barbie-as-symbol, and when you're looking at Barbie through that lens, it is true and unavoidable that Ken is an appendage and an afterthought. You can have toys for boys; you can have dolls for boys (even if you call them "action figures" or whatever); for that matter, you can have dolls of boys for girls, so that girls can tell stories centering on male characters; but that's not what Ken is, and never has been. There are no Ken stories, and no one particularly wants them. Ken exists to be Barbie's boyfriend.

(One of the most painful moments of the movie comes during the resolution wrapup. Ken wails to Barbie that he has no identity outside her. She says, basically, "you have to find one, because I'm leaving you." And he...acts like he's had an epiphany, and does a little silly celebration. But his "insight" is just literally "I'm Ken," there's absolutely nothing there, and of course it's the most hollow and awful thing in the world because he really does have no identity outside her.)

VI

The movie's metaphysics are not even slightly consistent. The nature of Barbieland, and the ways that it affects and is affected by the real world, are completely different in every scene. In large part because the film can't ever pass up a gag, whether or not it's funny, no matter how much damage it does to the narrative and the theming overall.

The worst part is that the movie is not capable of saying anything remotely coherent about the real world, because its version of the "real world" is as weird and fake as its Barbieland. Will Ferrell's CEO of Mattel character is more of an absurd cartoon than any of the Barbies or Kens. Mattel HQ is some kind of surreal labyrinth tower out of The Matrix. A random receptionist can handle herself like James Bond in a car chase, for reasons that are [handwaved in a gag].

VII

So. Yes. There is the sequence in the third act where Ken takes over Barbieland with the power of patriarchy. This is pretty much as bad as it can be. And I say this as someone who thinks that the movie probably did actually need a plot thread doing roughly that kind of thing.

Almost as bad as it can be. The wannabe-patriarch Kens are gleefully goofy in a way that you can't help but love, or at least, I couldn't help but love it. Which has something to do with the writing and something to do with the charisma of all the Ken actors. The main Ken, Ryan Gosling's Ken, really seems to believe that being a successful patriarch has a lot to do with riding majestic horses and wearing a giant fur coat without a shirt, and when he takes over Barbie's Dream House he names it Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House -- that kind of thing.

But. Apart from that, it's real unfortunate. The justification for Ken's ability to conquer Barbieland with patriarchy, instantly and effortlessly, is -- in almost so many words -- they had no defenses against it, it was like the American Indians encountering smallpox. I...don't think I need to spell out the problems with that.

Worse yet, the whole sequence is soaked in, uh, let's call it "2014-era upper-middle-class social-status-oriented feminism." The real bad behavior on the part of the Kens, the stuff they do when they're not being adorably weird, is: mansplaining their extensive opinions about cars and movies, and wanting to show off how helpful and knowledgeable they are to "damsels" who are having trouble using machines or computers. Apparently that's the real problem at hand, the causus belli of the gender wars. The way that you deprogram a patriarchy-brainwashed Barbie is by...ranting to her about the stereotypical social irritations of upper-middle-class women (e.g. "you have to keep yourself thin but not act like you care about being thin," "you have to be a confident leader but also be nurturing and supportive," etc.) [note that the Barbies of Barbieland have never encountered these irritations, at least not at the hands of men]. And the girlboss victory montage consists of having the Barbies put on deceptive manipulative bimbo acts to stroke the Kens' egos, which sure is one way to depict girlboss feminist victory.

But the most unforgivable thing of all is the depiction of the patriarchy-brainwashed Barbies. They're lad-magazine caricatures, endlessly offering their Kens "brewski beers," dressing up as French maids, gazing on in cow-eyed adoration as their Kens mansplain stuff to them.

Barbie does, in fact, have a problematic history with the patriarchy. And it does not look like that.

VIII

@brazenautomaton:

Barbie isn’t someone who had to fight through the patriarchy to be seen as good enough to be an astronaut even though she’s a woman. Barbie’s a fucking astronaut because she’s fucking Barbie of course she’s good enough to be an astronaut.

That is...one aspect of the deep Barbie lore. It is the Barbie-nature that Mattel was trying to push, as far back as my own childhood; it's certainly the Barbie-nature that Mattel is trying to push in this movie. But there is another side to Barbie, even older and even more fundamental than Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie, and you can't make a postmodern movie-about-Barbie without addressing it.

This is Barbie the fashion doll. The Barbie who is an icon of ultra-consumerist teenage girlhood, whose life is defined by her fancy clothes and her fancy car. The Barbie whose most salient traits are her hourglass figure and her long blonde hair and her feet that are always posed to fit into high heels. The Barbie of "math class is tough!" The Barbie who is kinda vapid and shallow and, yes, boy-crazy.

How can you tell a story about Barbie wrestling with the culture of patriarchy, and not talk about that? How can you depict Barbie falling victim to the patriarchy and have it look nothing like that?

...the movie does bring up the specter of Vapid Consumerist Barbie, briefly. When Margot Robbie's Barbie first comes to the real world and meets with the sullen teenage daughter character, she has a litany of That Thing thrown in her face, and it makes her sad. But nothing is ever done with it, and it goes nowhere.

IX

And it could all have fit together so well. That's the hell of it.

You can imagine the version of the story in which Ken conquers Barbieland with patriarchy, because the Barbies are actually vulnerable to patriarchal narratives, because Vapid Consumerist Barbie is the chthonic serpent that gnaws at the foundations of Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie civilization. He successfully makes them all forget that they're senators and astronauts and veterinarians, and turns them into airheaded teenage fashionistas who think that math class is tough.

And this avails him, and the other Kens, nothing. Even within the "patriarchal" version of Barbieland, Ken is still an afterthought and an appendage. He still gets treated like dogshit, just in a different idiom.

Because the thing that has always been true of Barbie, though every age and every phase of her mythos, is: she is the main character of her own story.

This is what the movie was telling us all the way back in the horrific 2001-pastiche prologue, right? Even when Barbie was just a swimsuit model, the point was that she let girls tell stories about themselves (or idealized/aspirational versions of themselves), not about boys or babies. That is a truer, and more powerful, feminist message about the meaning of Barbie than any message the movie actually bothers conveying.

The gag scene practically writes itself: the brainwashed Barbies are sitting around in a giggly slumber-party huddle talking about how dreamy Ken is, and actual Ken cannot get a word in edgewise, he can't even get them to notice he's there, because even Vapid Consumerist Barbie is fundamentally centered in her own life. Her narrative is not about a boy, it's about the experience of being a girl (mostly engaging with other girls) who likes thinking and talking about boys. Which is very much beside the point, if you started out with the complaint that your girlfriend never paid any attention to you.

Patriarchy hurts men too, indeed.

X

The movie ends, as I've intimated, in a disappointing squidge of thematic confusion. Barbie announces that she never really loved Ken, and leaves him, because...well, because these days the smart-set target audience is allergic to romantic narratives that Produce the Couple, as far as I can tell. Then she goes to the real world and becomes a real girl, a move that means nothing and is nonsensical even by the standards of the Barbie metaphysics, because the storytellers don't know how to end her arc and Becoming a Real Girl is the sort of thing that feels like a meaningful conclusion.

The Kens...sigh...the Kens ask for equal rights in Barbieland, more or less, and get told, "nah, but we'll throw you some bones." And they're happy with this, more or less, because they're dumb and don't really care. The narrator says, approximately, "maybe someday they'll make as much progress as women have in the real world." Haw haw.

It's probably too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something substantive about responsibility and kindness in relationships. It's almost certainly too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something about the nature of love symbols and love narratives. But all the pieces really were there, laid out very conspicuously. The movie could have wrapped up with: Ken doesn't need to be more important than Barbie, he doesn't even need to be as important as Barbie, he just needs to be treated with human decency. And if little girls are going to play with Barbies, and fantasize about having cute guys hanging all over them -- maybe they should have functional models of romance and human connection in which to root their fantasies, and not terrible ones.

[tothepointofinsanity]

the new pmmm movie trailer has brought back my Brainrot for the show so ive been re-exploring the pmmm corner of tumblr and

oh my god???? oh my fucking god???? oh holy shit???? oh my goodness gracious your art is so pretty??????? hello???????????

the way you draw sayaka is just fhfhfhfhhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhhfhf. yk? the english language does not have the words to articulate how much i love you art and the style of your art. i am going insane. i am losing my mind. every piece you've made featuring sayaka just captures her essence so well and it makes me feral.

sayaka's not my main favorite of the show (sorry sayaka, you rock but kyoko is just too cool with her Christian Guilt) she's a very close second and it makes me so happy to see an artist who just understands her character so well. she's a foolish girl blind to her own fate, desperate to do something special and be someone worthwhile but she's ultimately just a footnote in the grand plan of the universe, she wants to be just and righteous and kind so badly but she's too wrapped up in her own despair to truly be selfless, she can be selfish and callous but that's just because she's human, a human who realized her existence is ultimately an exercise in futility and that fact burns and it hurts so she does whatever she can to make the pain go away but it never does because she's just A Normal, Flawed Girl and that hurts so goddamn much-

i have so many Thoughts about sayaka. she makes me insane on a daily basis and your art just feels like it captures all the screeching in my brain and puts it in the form of some beautiful images. they're so great. you're doing great.

Ah, thank you for the kind words [♡] I appreciate the time you had taken out to write and send this long scroll of a compliment.

I have been told by others that the way I depict Sayaka is "so real" and that it captures her essence most of the time, even though I am not sure what particular elements about her that people in the audience like unless specified. I suppose, personally, whenever I am drawing her, I have to enter her shoes of not just "the frustration of a lovesick teenage girl", "my perceived sense of justice was flawed", but also to accept that resignation is a highlight of her character. A young girl who believes she is unloved despite her desire to do everything Right. A mermaid who cannot swim - futility and uselessness contribute to why Sayaka is a realistic and compelling person to a lot of people watching the show. Whenever I draw her, my brain paints a sketch of her sadness before anything else. The despair of "no matter what I do, this is the outcome" is true to the canon of Sayaka turning into a Witch in every timeline she tries to accomplish this Goodness by being a magical girl, reflecting the reality at large the helplessness girls in general experience on a daily basis.

It is why I find people who hate Sayaka to be...strange, since their prescribed reasons for dislike are mainly how "foolish" her wish and outlook in life was, and how she became irritating to those around her as though Sayaka isn't literally a paragon of not just deteriorating mental health, but to me, people with personality disorders as well, given that there is always a "sense" that the inevitable ending involves everyone actively avoiding you and you will eventually just...fade away into non-existence; a bad memory that no one wants to speak about. It makes me sad. Sayaka is sick, and everyone can smell the rot of magic off her.

Everytime I draw her, I want to capture, perhaps, this exact feeling of resigning to this disease. I don't want to always make the drawings beautiful since her struggles are ugly and difficult and tiresome, and shouldn't be trivialised as a result. She's always trying her best to regain control of her own life, thus being so unmatched in terms of how relatable she is to a lot of people.

I am glad that someone appreciates my works, even if they aren't always consistently quality. •́ ‿ ,•̀

[ablooglie-wooglie-woo]

First trailer for the new Castlevania series has dropped and I'm sorry everyone, but I cannot promise I'll be in any way normal about this new character.

Edit: turns out her name is Annette.

[the-starry-seas]

yeah i'm watching the borderlands movie, liveblogging-style commentary below

spoiler-free tldr: dedication to aesthetics and easter eggs. a handful of funny lines. about half of them didn't land at all. the lack of blood is rather unforgivable. would've been a 6.5/10 if that exact script was for different brand-new characters. as it is, 3/10 due to the character assassination

no reason for tiny tina to not be blowing the shit out of random things what is this girl doing ??????????????? character assassination

roland kinda gives me bl1 vibes but i'm still not even vaguely sold on hart's casting

probably the only psycho to not be screaming about meat bicycles 0/10 also that jumpsuit just looks... cheap. love the mask though.

wym knox

is that supposed to be a skag?

MARCUS WOOOOOO honestly this guy nailed it good job. though the ponytail... i'm confused. did i just never notice marcus had long hair? (one google later: yeah i'm unobservant as shit)

i don't recall anywhere but the literal actual dump in bl1 looking anything like this. krom is an interesting namedrop though

oh fuck yeah i love seeing robot POV- oh shit they're canonising lilith's last name being cashlin?

oh shit i know that bunty board mission look!!!! nice tbh

this voiceover is. not working for me however.

okay i love everything about claptrap, this is the obnoxious twerp that i know and... tolerate. yeah, let's go with tolerate. "even completely unjustified ones like yours" HAH

yeah lilith i feel that violence/expression combo

i cannot at all understand how the echonot is... a bot-only thing? but then again there's no other reason to have him tag along

OH SHIT I KNOW THOSE CROSSHAIRS

ah those fucking rakk

bunny! i know that bunny! got a booty like POW

LMAO good going tina finally she bears some resemblance to canon

zero reason for lilith to not teleport here but i guess they're saving the siren reveal? for some reason?

"LIKEABITCH" "MY BIG BRUDDAAAA" i kinda like it tbh. she was never going to be tina in a pg-13 movie but this is near-ish enough that i'm not upset

where's krieg during all of this exactly? ah there we go

wilhelm scream!

cgi on teh creature is looking a little shaky

claptrap's dedication to annoyingly singing everything, yeah, it tracks

okay so characterisation is... y'all've heard everyone bitching since the first trailer, right? but tina and krieg BFFs are growing on me and i'd read the fanfic

i'm not over krieg having hair sorry i even googled to make sure he didn't in bl2

SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE

could they not have worn normal masks instead of whatever these glowy cyberpunk things are?

"kriegy give me a ride!" oh they're cute

w. what is moxxi's accent? also why does lilith have mommy issues suddenly

temu tannis. honestly i think the casting for her isn't horrible, and the characterisation isn't as bad as some other characters, but it's still not what i'd expect

i'm not buying eridian clone. do we not remember what eridians look like.

this is supposed to be sanctuary???? geez they had so many other visual things nailed, i don't. get that. arguably one of the most iconic places in the series, idk how it's That

oh shit, caustic caverns?

yeah tina and krieg are everything to me

"hope blooms in the strangest places" coming from tina is the worst, it's a perfectly fine line but from TINA? would've been fine from lilith

i am not buying that knife-throwing action, would it have been so hard to find a stunt guy who knew how to do that already?

an ambush by dozens of enemies sure would be a nice time for some siren powers but tbf that is some pretty smooth gunwork

krieg dragging claptrap up the staircae and hitting every stair along the way LMAO

would it have killed them to have ANY lighting in that hallway

no way on earth did tina just snap a guy's neck

IT'S TIME TO BLEEEED HAHAHA yeah i'll give em that one, nice

at this point i'm wondering if lilith is human. with the characterisation in this movie it would not surprise me if tina was a siren instead. and siren tina could be cool! but c'mon. ah so tina teleported them. yep.

firehawk is what? i mean i don't mind it. but. canon, y'all. then again tina is phasewalking so

oh no way did roland survive that

that certainly is a scene that happened

was this one of the workers' villages that got abandoned when the corporations pulled out? bandits attacked and she got orphaned, sent offworld, and fell in with a violent crowd? that's actually a decent backstory tbh, it's just. not lilith's backstory.

i swear this hole place looks familiar i just can't place which map it's from

oh that miniboss-looking dude has a baller design

OH IT'S THE SYRINGE NOISE WOO

that was dumb as hell, killing knox like that

OH FINALLY SIREN POWERS and looks like rewriting the elevator bit yeah it was phasewalking after all

"you have my word" oh yeah that's valuable

"i have to open it" you could just. teleport them out. like you teleported in. could you not. or just kill atlas.

okay the vault arch building does look pretty neat

FIREHAWK WINGS YES

whatever cgi they're doing with floating lilith... i don't like that.

Do Not Hurt The Tina

Do Not Hurt The Krieg

okay the firehawk shield effects are pretty cool

NOBODY KILLS ME BUT ME YEAH

i will always support kids being able to beat up their abusive parents

ooh hentai

ELLIE AND SCOOTER ELLIE AND SCOOTER ELLIE AND SCOOTER ELLIE AND SCOOTER

i still don't get these shantytown vibes for sanctuary but i do love me some fireworks

glorious meat fiesta

"come onnn do the thing" i love when characters say that and the other character is all naaah but then gives in almost immediately cause they love the person asking

FIREHAWK IN THE SKY ALERT DEEPLY FUCKING COOL

[doll-elvis]

Sorry if you’re overwhelmed by the asks! I just really like your blog and am curious about your thoughts on Elvis related things. I just wanted to lastly say I agree with everything you said. In a way sometimes I feel like you’re not allowed to be a fan of Elvis. It feels like we’re always being shamed for being a fan of him, especially on social media. It’s already bad enough with the whole “Elvis is a racist who stole black music” thing, but the stuff about his love life is also exhausting. I don’t condone any inappropriate behavior with teenage girls, but I understand it was a different time and more normalized back then. There are so many other famous male entertainers and athletes of the past who engaged in similar behavior, yet it seems like Elvis is only called out. The thing is, Elvis did also date several girls who were around his age in the 50’s like June Juanico, Barbara Hearn, Anita Wood, etc. Some people say Ann Margret was the love of his life and she definitely wasn’t underage. Yet they’re constantly erased from Elvis’s story. It’s frustrating.

aw don’t apologize at all, I really appreciate it because Elvis is lowkey my favorite thing to talk about, I could really talk forever about him, and I always annoy people irl with how much I talk about him hehe🫣 and I’m so happy you like my posts, thank you truly <33

btw I would get this ask tattooed on my forehead because everything you said is just so true 😭 what I didn’t expect before becoming an Elvis fan was that you have to constantly defend your love for him. I’ve literally gotten into arguments with family, friends, and people online who act like elvis was the most terrible person and if you’re a fan of him you’re a bad person also. people love to label elvis with the most harsh and untrue things it just breaks my heart because as fans we all know it’s just not the case. elvis did draw inspiration from black artists he has said it himself but he was never arrogant, he was always humble and appreciative of the artists before him. a lot of people say he stole music because he didn’t write his own songs… if people could open a tab on the internet they would quickly find out most artists back then didn’t write their own songs, for example hound dog was written by two guys that sold that song to artists who wanted to cover it like Big Mama Thornton and Elvis.

As for the women, it would take me a week to name every artist 50s and up that have had some inappropriate relationship with an underage girl. It does not make it right or excusable but what is not fair is to only hold Elvis to that moral standard and only call him out. You cannot be mad at Elvis for we he did and not be equally mad at artists like Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, etc. etc. for their inappropriate relationships yet I’m not seeing any documentaries “exposing” them.

In this new documentary trailer they say the phrase “14 was a magical age with Elvis” and it made me want to throw up and scream at the same time. There’s no denying he has had a past with underage girls, but to make it seem like this was an age group he prowled for and explicitly sought out is so harmful and wrong. A majority of the women he had real and long relationships with were in their 20s and up. I think Elvis was most attracted to innocence and that’s not something exclusive to underage women. For example Linda and Ginger were both in their early 20s but they were less worldly than other girls their age and that was what Elvis was drawn to imo. Also the idea that he would not sleep with mothers is another false thing pushed by media as he had affairs with Barbara Leigh, Susan Henning, and I believe Ann Pennington had a young daughter also.

like you said it’s frustrating being an Elvis fan and having to watch his name and legacy get slandered but I wouldn’t give it up for the world because he deserves all the love we have for him 💗

[chemmerson]

tears of the kingdom final trailer thoughts

HEY THERE HI HELLO ITS ME NOT HAVING A NORMAL THOUGHT ABOUT THIS NEW TRAILER !!!!!!

this has been a very emotional experience for me and i will try my best to have coherent thoughts below lol:

WOW I am completely blown away by everything we saw yesterday. and this is my formal apology to nintendo for complaining that they weren't giving us enough content so far and my thank you to them for waiting to give us all of that in one trailer. okay so here are my very unorganized initial reactions and thoughts:

the music is the most beautiful gorgeous score i have ever heard in my life. i had goosebumps the e n t i r e time listening to that masterpiece

there is,,,,, so much that we can do in this game. no wonder it fucking took so long did you see how much shit we can do? build? fight with?

THE IMPLICATIONS OF FIGHTING WITH NPCs GIVES ME UNEXPLAINABLE JOY

NEW CHARACTERS HELLOOOOOOOOOO

ANCIENT ZELDA????

WHERE. ISZELDA???????

SKYLOFT MAYHAPS ????????

GANONDORF?????????

okay but in all seriousness, i am so emotional about the way they made this such an amazing continuation from botw. everyone coming together to fight against evil, hyruleans, ritos, gerudos, zoras...link and zelda have everyone behind them to save their home it just makes me so emotional

i am beyond ecstatic for zelda's role in this game. the trailer made me feel like she's going to be going through sort of a ss zelda journey...connecting with the spirit and goddess within her, learning about hyrules past, helping whatever new characters (zonai?) and most of all, standing alongside link and believing in him

i just KNOW link is pissed that he lost zelda again and he's gonna do everything he can to get back to her

ganondorf's design is flawless, but from what we say i think it's possible that we will have interactions with both demise AND ganondorf and it makes sense...this whole time everyone has guessed that we are going back to the beginning or close to it...it would only make sense that demise would make some appearance or have significance in whatever evil we will see

where is teba :'(

i cannot wait for riju's role and gerudos' role in general...they will definitely be giving us some insight into ganondorf and his significance as well

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE MUSIC AGAIN HELLO

that's really all i have for now (sorry it's a mess). I am honestly still very emotional about it all. this series has been so important to me for so long and im so excited to play this game. i can't wait for the youtube theorists to put out their twenty minute long videos dissecting everything and hearing their thoughts. this is going to be a very amazing month of anticipation.

IM SO EXCITED YAY

[milady-elessar]

Sorry, I don't want to be pessimistic, but I have no hope that Bucky will be central in the story line of Thunderbolts*.

First trailer follows Yelena POV. She is the one glueing all the pieces of the story. She is almost in every scene. Bucky is amazing in the end of the trailer but only says one line "What's the plan?". Again, like with Sam, he is following orders.

You don't feel like he is the leader when he is in the back of the elevator/lift. Again, you have Yelena sharing the first plan with her father.

First poster is centred on Yelena. She is the one in the middle in a different position (everyone in a fighting mood and she looks bored) and your eyes go immediately to her (the only blond in a background of dark colours) before going around to the others. Besides, you can barely recognise him. I bet most people outside the fan base will look to the poster and they will not know that he is the same Winter Soldier/ Bucky from the previous movies and TV show.

Finally, again, he is just one element in a large team. His time on screen will never be enough to satisfy anyone who loves him.

Don't get me wrong. I like Yelena and I will watch the movie, I'm just holding very low expectations about the role of Bucky in the story.

MCU is rebuilding a new team of Avengers intended for a new young audience. In normal circumstances, you don't kill off main characters in a story if you are planning to use them later.

Probably from their profit point of view, Bucky is only worth it to make a bridge between the previous MCU phase and this new one. They are focused in an action movie while we really want is more his character development as a tormented fragile tough human being. They cannot go back in his story line without touching subjects that they don't want/ can't develop, like Hydra, Steve's Captain America, Natasha and Wakanda. "Been there, done that" kind of thing.

To move forward, there is only his recovery and dealing with PTSD. Not funny things to develop in an entertaining action movie and already very lightly touched on TFATWS...

I can only hope I'm wrong and there will be more... But I'm not sure if even Sebastian Stan is interested in keep doing this secondary role while his career is growing bigger and bolder with very significant and potential big award winning roles.

I just realized now rewatching TFATWS how Bucky is never really a prioritized character. He was the secondary bad guy of the movie Captain America: The Winter Soldier (not even the first, regardless that his character was in the title)… Captain America: Civil War mainly prioritized on the feud between Tony and Steve, Bucky and the other super soldier were the just motive behind their falling out. And finally, the saddest in my opinion, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier was supposed to settle on a mixed storyline between the two namesakes. . . Personally, I feel like the only times their story’s came together was when they were on a mission, or when Bucky was at the boat. The rest of everything was focused on to Sam. Whenever a strong changing point in the plot was happening Bucky would be pushed aside (e.g. when Sam went solo in the tunnel to deal with Karli and Sharon, mean while Bucky was sent off with John Walker and not even a single punch was thrown) and Sam got all of the takedown glory.

I realize that the show was supposed to showcase how Sam becomes Captain America despite all of the criticism towards POC, I was just hoping we’d get a little more Bucky, too, all things considered of how he went through nearly a century of being brainwashed, manipulated, tortured, (possibly) prostituted… it would have been interesting to see more of a spin on Bucky’s grief and him and Sam talking through it a bit.

Idk, maybe I’m just delusional.

But ISTG Bucky better have more of a forefront plot line in Thunderbolts.

Also, Marvel has got to tone down the super soldier factors in their movies and tv shows. Every time they add more super soldiers to the mix, or they bring up more super serum recipes, it’s completely taking out the uniqueness of Steve and Bucky. . . I mean come on, what if they just made everyone the hulk? It begins to make people question if the MCU is trying to replace the originals.

[hakuraikou]

So the new TMNT trailer just dropped this week and the child in me HAD to do something to celebrate it. Ive watched it an embarrassing number of times and have tortured all of my friends to sitting and watching it with me at least once. Lol(im so sorry im so annoying. It was just so good and I'm just so excited 🫣😅😭) Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a big ninja turtle fan. One of my friends got me a Leonardo beanie that I wear everyday and everywhere. And I WISH I had a turtle shell backpack...I mean can you imagine how awesome that would be?!? Something Noone knows about me is way back in grade school when I was first learning how to draw, I had a "how to draw Garfield" book. It inspired me to start drawing. And of course I made my first comic series "super turtle". A normal everyday turtle just minding his business, when he gets hit by a canister of "super ooze". He had a cape and a sign on his chest (I can't remember if it was just "T" or if it was "ST"). He could fly and fight crime. There were future comics where there were new kinds of ooze and he would have different forms like "ultra turtle"(I'll be honest I cannot for the life of me remember what the other forms were. Lol). They weren't the best looking, but I remember having alot of fun making them, and now I'm trying to recapture the pure unadulterated childlike joy of just creating for the fun of it. #tmnt #nerdatwork #sketchbook #finishedproject (at Louisville, Kentucky) https://www.instagram.com/p/CptcGeQsL08/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[official-nymph]

Some details I noticed in Fade Agent Trailer as a native Turkish person

Is this a Valorant blog normally? Nope. I’ll just point some stuff about background noises as we see fears of agents during the trailer

At that moment, when we see Cypher struggling in somewhere like an interrogation room, I can clearly hear Fade saying “Suçlu” that means “Guilty” in Turkish. As we know from voicelines etc, Cypher had a family once and he lost them. So I’m curious, does Cypher blames himself for what happened to Nora? Is this feeling just about a regret of not being able protect his most precious ones or did Cypher do something that caused the loss in some way? 

Another translation, when we see Breach in a probably prison cell, Fade is whispering “Kaçma.”, means “Don’t run”. So we already knew that Breach had some crimes in his past before he joined Valorant but actually, I really cannot make up any headcanons from this. It didn’t feel anything new so if you can add something with this translation, please do so. 

Still, the most interesting one for me is that shot, where we see KAY/O with dead/injured Brimstone in his arms. 

Fade is saying “Yüz karası” which can be roughly translated as “Disappointment” but has a much harder and humiliating meaning than just disappointment in the way we use it. I read a headcanon somewhere that thinks KAY/O was somehow a robotified version of a fallen comrade of Brimstone, because of the military necklace that KAY/O has (i’ll add the link if i can find it again) so I’m just curious if KAY/O really is a complete robot made by Killjoy or does he have a more human backstory, especially with Brim? 

note: been a long time to play valorant so if i miss anything about the current lore updates sorry lol i was just so hyped

[equalseleventhirds]

ok! some of my running around has paused for a bit, so here am i, reccing a podcast i'm in:

Once Upon a Monster of the Week, a MOTW-driven ttrpg podcast but edited down to make it more like an audio drama (but improv!). Has a pretty big cast so you get multiple groups (and I adore all of them so much) solving multiple mysteries.

The story: in the small town of Reddington, New Hampshire, monsters and magic run... not exactly wild, but there are a bunch. Luckily, the town council has called on some Reddington citizens to help out! This is definitely a normal part of everyday life in Reddington, and all of the people called on for this understand that this is a totally normal thing that they should not question. At all.

Of course, the town council doesn't just hire monster hunters or whatever. No, these groups of citizens are working to improve the community! Meaning they have 100% real non-monster-hunter jobs and just, maybe, happen to help out the town by solving mysteries and hunting down monsters. You know.

All four groups have episodes out now, so have a listen and meet: The news bulletin (yes that's me i'm on that one), who run the Reddington Daily something-or-other, a perfectly normal town newspaper which is definitely not reporting on weird monster activities. Or swamp people.

The parks & rec department, who help with things like planning the fall festival and catching stray unicorns, and who definitely all get along great, there is no overt hatred and refusal to cooperate going on with them! No you cannot still hear CB screaming in their car.

The historical preservation society, currently working on an exhibit about the Titanic, which is integral to Reddington's history. Some of them may be a little anxious... or a little spooky... or talk to the dead a tiny bit... but surely this will just help with making a great exhibit!

The neighborhood watch, dedicated to keeping Reddington safe! As the neighborhood watch, all of them are upstanding members of the community, and none of them are doing any crimes or chaos or anything. Of course not, they're the neighborhood watch!

All four of these groups are coordinated by Wendy, our puppetmaster jailer secretary narrator, and representative of the mysterious town council. She's here to make sure all of these Reddington citizens remember to do their jobs and keep their hometown safe, as any member of a wonderful community like Reddington would.

(check us out on most podcatchers, but also there is a website, a twitter, and also now a tumblr! you can ask wendy questions! she will definitely answer honestly. also check out our patreon; we've got lots of fun bonus content coming up.)

(pls note, do listen to the teaser trailers, as there is extra content in there not in the main episodes! you get a little peak into reddington and our characters. also note, sorry to say we don't have official transcripts just yet; one of our goals if we start making money is to hire a paid transcriber tho!!)

[twinkleimagines]

*Somebody save me*

summary: y/n is new to the outer banks, being as she’s Barry’s cousin from the city. Her being as familiar in the drug life as Barry, it was almost inevitable for her not to meet the Rafe himself. Little does she know her life was about to become an entire rollercoaster. Was rafe going to drag her down with his own issues and literal manic tendencies, or was she finally going to be the saving this lost boy needed?

CHAPTER ONE

“ this is why I don’t live near the water” You exclaimed as you swatted the swarming gnats and mosquitos away from your face .

“ either here or group home cuz” Barry exclaimed while taking nugs of marijuana out of a zip lock bag, placing them on his scale . “ better get use to it.”

You’d lived in a small home back in Atlanta Georgia with your mom, who was a serious addict and spent more time out on the streets prostituting for drugs than she was at home with her daughter . Because of your moms reckless behavior, you had missed out on a lot of school seeing as she became spending more time selling drugs for a living than actually participating in school. Unfortunately that raised the schools attention to your living situation, inevitably causing your mom to get locked up and You having to chose between moving to the outer banks, or a group home. You only had 2 months left until you would be 18 but until then, Barry’s trailer would be where you resided.

You rolled your eyes before getting up from your chair , walking towards the trailer.

“ where ya goin?” Barry asked turning from his table of weed.

“ I can’t handle these bugs dude” you exclaimed still walking towards the trailer.

“ we’ll if you’re gonna stay here you gon have to put your work in too” he stated before standing up, grabbing 2 bags of white powder. You stepped back in shock.

“ the fuck Barry” you exclaimed shaking your head in disbelief. “ you know I don’t fuck with that shit”. Barry shrugged before reaching back towards you, shaking them at you to grab.

“ no but these bills gotta be paid” he said nodding his head towards the trailer. “ I need you to take this over to someone for me tonight. He’s got a party goin and he’s gonna sell it throughout the night .”

“ why can’t you take it to him then?” You exclaimed crossing your arms.

“ because cuz you’re gonna have to pull your weight round here too” . You scoffed before snatching the 2 bags of coke from Barry’s hand.

“ I don’t even know who this guy is “ you huffed out, putting the two bags in your bra.

“ you’ll know him. His name is Rafe.”

****

As you pulled up to the driveway, yourjaw dropped at the size of the house Barry had you going to. It was massive, and the amount of people crowding the humongous house was massive as well.

“ how the fuck am I suppose to find this guy” you huffed out to yourself before stepping out the car. You had your long wavy hair down, and hooped earrings dangling. You wore on tight high waisted white jeans and a black strapless top as well. As you looked around you could definitely tell this wasn’t your crowd. The girls had massive amounts of make up caked on, booty shorts that their bottoms were practically hanging out of, and they all were definitely shit faced. And they all looked to be trying to get some guys attention.

You walked in looking around , running your hand through your hair stressfully, trying to figure out howyou were suppose to find this Rafe guy.

“ you don’t look like you’re from around here” you heard from behind you. You turned around to find a medium height guy- definitely shit faced might I add- looking you up and down. You scoffed before taking a step back.

“ ‘cause I’m not” you snapped, due to your lack of interest. “ I’m looking for Rafe”. The guy slightly scoffed with an eye roll before pointing to the section behind him.

“ pink shirt” he spat out before brushing past you. You snickered at the fact how some men just cannot handle rejection. Looking over where the guy had just previously directed you, you saw a group of kooks all sitting on the two couches surrounding a coffee table, the guy in the pink shirt , which was assumed to be Rafe, was separating lines of coke on the table. You sighed before making your way to him. You could only see his muscular back and broad shoulders from where you were standing since his back was faced towards you, but none the less he was a kook, which was definitely not your type.

“ Rafe?” You spoke out, only to see the dirty blondes headed boy to look over your shoulder. You swallowed quickly, taken back when you saw those piercing dilated blue eyes gazing into yours. He looked you up and down, presumably confused as to who you were, since you definitely didn’t look the part for a party of kooks. You quickly stood up straight, making sure you looked the tough hood girl as you are before you pulled the two bags of coke out of your back pocket. His eyebrows quickly furrowed together in confusion , wondering why a strange outsider like you was handing him the drugs.

“ Barry” was all you responded before walking off. Barry had told you that there didn’t need to be much conversation between the two of you, that Rafe would already know the deal. Which was fine by you. Rafe honestly took your breath away but looking at the bimbos he had surrounding him, it was clear you weren’t his type anyways. That didn’t matter though. He was beyond rich, and you were from the projects. Definitely no match.

“ hey” you heard someone shout from behind you. You turned around quickly, your long hair wrapping around your shoulders as you did. Oh god . It was Rafe.

“ sorry I didn’t catch your name” he said pointing behind him, indicating your brief in counter a few seconds ago. This time it was your turn to look at him with confusion. Why would he need your name?

“ y/n” you responded looking up at the tall geeked out boy with a slight smile.

“ I uh didn’t mean to be rude I just wasn’t expecting you - I mean the supply this early. “ fumbling with the two bags in his hand. You threw your hands up .

“ ion know that’s just what Barry told me to bring” . You watched Rafes face turn into worry.

“ uhm.. okay yeah alright” he said nervously running his hands through his hair before turning around and walking quickly back into the house. You shook your head in pure confusion before walking back to your car, headed back to the trailer .

****

“ alright ladies and gents , who wants a bump” Rafe said walking back into the common area, plopping down on the couch with the new baggies.

“ you know I do” the blonde girl next to him said scooting closer to him.

“ no more for you till you pay up sweetie” Rafe scoffed. She quickly placed her hand on his inner thigh giggling .

“ I can pay you alright” she spoke out giggling. Rafe laughed shaking his head.

“ already had it. You gotta pay your part this time” he said while using his ID card to separate the lines. She rolled her eyes with embarrassment while the crowd snickered at his comment before pulling her wallet out, handing him a couple of twenties before taking a rolled up dollar, snorting a line.

“ Rafe! My man!” Kelce shouted excitedly before dabbing Rafe up, looking down at the table . “ oh okay this is what I like to see baby” he said rubbing his hands together in excitement . Rafe handed him a rolled up dollar in exchange for some money from Kelce before Kelce leaned down, snorting him a line. “ where’s Topper?” He asked while sitting on the couch next to Rafe. Rafe froze for a second, flash backs to the night Topper got arrested for covering for Sarah and John B running through his head. Rafe hadn’t spoke to Topper since that day, it had became clear he knew the truth or he at least believed Sarah over Rafe.

“ he doesn’t want to come around “ Rafe said. Which was probably the truth. “ yanno Sarah” Rafe said not looking up from the table , watching others around taking more bumps. It was hard for Rafe trying to play things like he normally should. Of course he mourned the death of his sister, more than normal since he internally blamed himself. If he wouldn’t have killed the cop, and framed John B, she wouldn’t have been on the run. But at the same time he was just trying to protect their dad. Rafe froze for a second lost in thought before he picked up the pile of cash people were laying on the table. He knew aT this point the only thing he could do was continue making money for Berry. Barry was the only one who could really help the pogues bring the truth out about his crimes and at this point he had basically became Barry’s bitch. He handled all the product, and sold it all with little to no compensation.

“ alright whose ready for the next round ?”

****

The next morning

“ why you even selling to those kooks anyways Barry?” You asked as you hung your head off of Barry’s couch as he counted money from his duffle bag.

“ because y/n they’re rich and stupid” he responded as if it was an obvious answer. “ they ain’t got no responsibilities so all they care about is partying and getting fucked up.” You looked over at him as he stood up looking over you. “ and I’m the king at getting people fucked up aight. They’ll pay anything cause they got it” he said throwing his hands up. You sighed before sitting up.

“ you should really clean this place up. It stinks” you responded before walking out side, tugging at your tank top to cool down. As you walked out into his yard to sit out in one of his patio chairs you heard a dirt bike coming down the drive way.

“ great” you mumbled as you plopped down in the chair, hissing as the plastic chair burned the back of your thighs since you were in short denim shorts. You quickly lit up a joint Barry rolled for you earlier as you watched the guy turn his bike off before taking his helmet off.

‘Shit’ you thought as you accidentally inhaled too much and began coughing , realizing it was Rafe on the bike. You honestly had thought about him quite a few times through the night last night. Just mesmerized by his attractive looks.

“ hey I remember you” he spoke as you took a sip of your water.

“ oh yeah?” You asked brushing your long locks of hair from your face as some stuck to your forehead from sweat. “ where from?” You questioned, playing it off like you hadn’t thought about him all night.

“ you came to my party last night” he said. Wow. He was really cute.

“ oh yeah! Rafe right?” Rafe smiled.

Okay what the fuck. You immediately felt butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach as you watched this literal perfect smile form across his face . He ran his hands through his hair ( almost as if he was getting nervous) before nodding. “ yeah yeah that’s me” . You grinned before reaching out offering him a hit off your joint.

“ want a hit?” You asked.

“ yeah sure” he said before sitting down next to you, taking a hit off your joint. “ so I’ve never seen you round here. You uh Barry’s new girl ?” He asked blowing smoke out between the sentences. You threw your head back laughing loudly .

“ fuck no!” You laughed out. “ he’s my cousin . I’m just stayin with him for a couple months till I get my own plsce” you stated while grabbing the joint back from Rafe.

“ ahh” he responded looking down at the fire pit in front of y’all. “ you gonna stay here or” he asked. If it wasn’t for you crushing you would’ve been weird out by the questions he was asking. You shrugged taking a big hit .

“ I don’t know yet” you said blowing smoke out of your nose. “ I’m waiting to see if this place is gonna win me over.” You responded honestly . “ but honestly this heat and these bugs are for the birds” you said swatting at some of the gnats that were swarming again. Rafe chuckled slightly, looking down at his hands.

“ it’s not too bad once you get use to it.” He said looking over at you. “ maybe someone will change your mind” .You grinned, looking down as you felt the heat rushing to your cheeks. You could see Rafe playing with his hair again. You had come to a conclusion that the hair playing meant he was definitely nervous which made the butterflies flutter again.

“ uhm well-“ he said awkwardly standing up. “ Barry inside?” He asked looking over towards the trailer.

“ yeah yeah he’s in there” you said standing up as well.

“ okay well I’ll see you again okay Y/n? “ he stated, watching as you nodded in agreement. You watched him head inside the trailer, is tall figure swaying as he walked.

***

“ aye yo Barry” Rafe spoke out before opening the screen door to Barry’s trailer. “ got your money” Rafe stated nervously walking toward the back of the trailer to Rafes room.

“ okay country club I see you “ Barry expressed walking out his room to meet Rafe in the kitchen. “ this all of it?” He stated while grabbing the stack out of his hand.

“ yeah man that’s all of it” Rafe stated , sweat dripping down his forehead as he brushed his hair back. “ uhm you uh know you uhm doubled it right?” Rafe said referring to the supply.

“ I needed to get the product movin” he Barry replied still counting the stash.

“ yeah but you see it’s hard to move that much-“

“ listen country club I own you ok” Barry said looking up at Rafe with that cocky smirk of his. “ I know your secret. I know what you really did. Now you can either make my money by doin this work when and where I say I want it done-” he stared shrugging his shoulders. “- or I could just turn you in and make the money that way” Barry chuckled at the sight of Rafe breaking a sweat at the thought of the truth coming out as he sat down at his kitchen table, setting the stack of money on the table. “ choice is yours my friend” . Rafe shook his head stumbling around a bit , partially from nerves and the other from geeking of the dope.

“ nah I-I got you” he responded back , his heart pounding with anxiety.

“ alright that’s what I like to hear” Barry beamed. “ no go. I’ll let you know when I got more for you” he stated. Rafe quickly made his way out the door, running his hands through his hair once again before walking towards your direction. He wanted to just hop on his bike and scurry away from it all , but something about you intrigued him so much. Maybe it was because you treated him differently than everyone else. You were kind to him, and didn’t look at him like he was some crazy addict .

“ see ya Rafe” you called out as he passed by you towards his bike. He tossed his hand up to you with a smile before sitting on his bike, grabbing his helmet, he froze for a second before looking up at you.

“ hey I’m gonna have another party tomorrow night, you know if you’re not busy maybe you could come chill . Get a feel of this place a little more” he suggested, his fingers twiddling with his helmet.

“ I don’t know Rafe, didn’t really look like my crowd “ you stated, this time it was your turn to run your hands through your hair. He shrugged looking down at his helmet.

“ then hang with me” he suggested, his voice a bit softer as if he was nervous to make the suggestion at all. You grinned, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“ okay yeah, I’ll see you then “ you nodded, looking up to see his blue eyes beam with excitement.

“ cool cool” he stated before placing his helmet back on before revving his bike on , riding back out the driveway.

You leaned back sighing of happiness, grinning at Rafes comment .

“ then hang with me”

Tomorrow night couldn’t come sooner.

Chapter 2 coming soon ❤️

( I will be putting this story under the tag #somebody save me )

[becomewings]

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

     BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 1 / 4

» pt. 2

Introduction

BTS Universe Story, a mobile game published by Netmarble, was released on September 24, 2020. While the majority of the app is essentially a sandbox and engine for users to create their own interactive stories, it also includes official and canon BU content. The first eight segments were introduced between the release date and December 2020, gathered under the title The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>.

“I’m Fine” is half of the I’m Fine/Save Me ambigram introduced in the Love Yourself era. Notably, all of the BU content available in the game so far falls between events of the webtoon Save Me (also called HYYH0 in its logo) and The Notes 1—chronologically, that is, while bearing in mind that time resets to the morning of 11 April Year 22 whenever SeokJin fails to avert a tragedy among his six friends. I want to assure anyone who is unable to play the game that you are not missing any new, major plot beats from the overall BU narrative. Instead, the stories provide more insight into the motivations and consequences of SeokJin’s decisions in the earlier time loops, as well as more depth to individual characters and their circumstances.

The goal of this guide is to summarize each of the eight stories and highlight noteworthy details, especially if they are not yet present in other BU media. Within each story (which I often refer to as an arc, due to their character-focused nature), episodes must be played successively, but the stories themselves can be played in any order. I will present them over a series of posts in the order they are listed under the <I’M FINE> heading. The Prologue and NamJoon’s arc are free to play; the rest are paid content. Please note that due to the app’s Terms & Conditions, I will not include in-game footage here. The images in this guide are sourced from the official trailers/videos and the live action MVs as appropriate.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Game Mechanic

Before diving into the summaries, I would like to address the primary mechanic of the game: the user’s control of character choices at designated moments in the stories. It’s a primary marketing point that the player can influence the progression of the narrative, with a frequent in-app tip also declaring, “stories’ endings can vary depending on your choices.” The latter is not strictly true—and it cannot be true due to the structure of the game. Choices are presented within most (not all) episodes, but each episode is an isolated unit: episode 2 provides the same content regardless of what you choose in episode 1. Since the consequences of your decisions are not cumulative, each episode reaches the same ending, and each decision inevitably rejoins the “main” story path (effectively reducing the script size).

So what is the point of this mechanic? While the system is not nearly as complex as what major platform titles are capable of nowadays (I suspect due in large part to the story creation portion of the game), it does foster a sense of interaction with the narrative that isn’t present in static visual media like comics or film. The episodes with choices also have incentive for replay to discover the impact of changing a character’s dialogue or action. Sometimes the differences between the outcomes are inconsequential, but other times you unearth new details, interactions, or memories that are missing in the other path.

I say this partially in reaction to all of the comments and tweets I read for the game trailers and even Smeraldo Book twitter’s choose-your-own-adventure style teasers with The Notes 2 excerpts released last summer. Many users expressed excitement, through words or memes, about finally being able to give the boys the happy ending they deserved. I don’t fault anyone for wanting that happy ending—I wish for it, too. But no matter what the rather overzealous marketing has claimed, I don’t believe that the canon ending of BU is ever meant to be in the audience’s control. But I do feel that this mechanism fits the BU narrative. It echoes the “countless loops” SeokJin has experienced in an effort to save his friends, the choices he must make at every crossroad, and the butterfly effect those actions have on all of their lives. I think it is reasonable to interpret the simple branching paths in the game as alternatives SeokJin has explored across multiple loops in his struggle to find the “right” way forward. I’d love to hear if you have theories of your own!

Prologue

The prologue is a brief episode introducing SeokJin’s repeated struggle and failure to save his friends. He wakes up yet again in his bed on 11 April Year 22, the beginning of the time loop. After reflecting on the tragedies that keep befalling the others, SeokJin realizes that he has only tried to fix the problems he can see. He wonders: “Have I tried to understand the root of my friends’ misfortunes? How much do I really know about my friends? Maybe I was never brave enough to confront their real scars and the worlds they’ve been living in. But I need to do it. Because it may be the key to saving them all.”

How to Offer a Hand

In this story, SeokJin attempts to prevent NamJoon’s arrest after he gets in a fight with a rude customer at Naeri Gas Station, his place of work. The first episode opens on the night of 11 April Year 22 with NamJoon curling his fists, glaring as crumpled bills lie untouched on the pavement. (The money looks similar to the shot from the I Need U MV.) SeokJin reaches for his shoulder, but NamJoon shrugs him off and strides away to punch the customer who deliberately dropped the bills for him to pick up. The gas station owner runs over at the customer’s furious shouts and orders NamJoon to apologize. He refuses, and police officers soon arrive and charge him with assault. No one listens to SeokJin’s protests that the customer started it first. The man sneers as NamJoon enters the police car. “Do you even have money for a settlement? Hey, you’re done for.” NamJoon is sentenced to prison again, and SeokJin hears glass shattering before the loop resets.

Rising from his bed on the morning of 11 April, SeokJin reflects on his failed efforts so far. He has hit the customer’s car, called for NamJoon in the middle of the incident, and stopped the fight himself, the latter of which caused his friends to avoid him later. The fight has even escalated; the details are unspecified, but the audience is provided an ominous shot of SeokJin speaking to a police officer alone at the scene. NamJoon is not the kind of person who would normally respond to that kind of provocation with his fists. SeokJin realizes that he cannot merely stop the fight but must discover and fix the true cause of it.

With this in mind, SeokJin heads to Naeri Gas Station during the day and tries to engage NamJoon. This is their first time meeting since they both returned to Songju, although SeokJin has experienced it in many loops already. “It’s been a while,” he greets (as he does at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV). Before SeokJin can dig deeper in their conversation, NamJoon is called away by his boss. SeokJin enters the small employee break room which serves as NamJoon’s living space when he’s not at the container, hoping to find some clues about his friend’s life. SeokJin locates something bundled in newspapers. If the player chooses to open it, he sees a strange shard of glass inside that may belong to a car or motorcycle headlight. He continues on, finding the book Cosmos by Carl Sagan and a notebook. SeokJin hesitates over the invasion of privacy but decides to read it since he needs all the information that he can gather. The journal entries detail NamJoon’s daily life since returning to Songju: his work at the gas station isn’t too bad despite the occasional rude customer; he purchased a book and hopes to get more in the future; he picked up a second job at a wedding hall to help catch up on bills; his brother NamHyeon got in trouble again, leading to more expenses; and his dad’s health has worsened, with hospital bills after an emergency surgery rising to levels that the family cannot afford. SeokJin knew that NamJoon was the de facto head of household due to his father’s illness but was unaware that it was to this degree. He feels sorry for NamJoon yet is also impressed by his maturity, for NamJoon never writes how difficult his situation is.

NamJoon arrives and asks what SeokJin is doing in the room. If the player chooses to answer “reading” instead of “just sitting there,” SeokJin privately observes that the conversation flows more easily when they talk about books. NamJoon says he must leave and declines when SeokJin offers to wait for him there. SeokJin knocks over a pile of books along with money and receipts as he stands. He thinks it is unusual that NamJoon picks up the books before the money. The books seem to be more than a hobby to NamJoon, holding special meaning. Walking to his car, SeokJin wonders if it is pride or determination not to falter that keeps NamJoon from journaling his grievances. He realizes that money is a constant source of frustration and misery to NamJoon, and that’s why he can’t stomach being insulted over the customer’s dropped money. SeokJin’s new plan is to prevent NamJoon from picking up the money. He also calls Palgok County Hospital and offers to pay the patient bill for NamJoon’s father. Anticipating that NamJoon will be angry if he finds out, SeokJin says the payer is Songho Foundation.

That night, SeokJin returns to the gas station with the excuse that he forgot to fill up earlier. The luxury car arrives with a honk, and NamJoon hurries over to assist. He shakes with anger when the customer drops the money on the ground. “Why aren’t you picking it up? You don’t want it? What’s with that look? Pretty arrogant for a part-timer, aren’t you?” goads the customer. SeokJin intervenes. Whether the player chooses to have him advise NamJoon not to pick it up or to order the customer to pick it up himself, the end result is the same. SeokJin asks the customer, “Why are you harassing a pitiful part-timer?” The customer drives away, and something about NamJoon seems off. His face is expressionless, not mad or humiliated. “SeokJin, you…” He stops. “Never mind. Thank you for your help.” The words sound difficult for him to speak.

SeokJin believes that he has saved NamJoon, although this ending feels sloppy. He continues on in the loop to rescue JungKook and later YoonGi, but uneasiness plagues him. Though he meant to help NamJoon with his actions, SeokJin wonders if he hurt him instead. On 5 May Year 22, he returns to the gas station and follows NamJoon when he leaves work early. NamJoon enters a bookstore, and SeokJin sneaks in after him to watch from afar. He overhears employees talking about NamJoon, worrying that he might dirty the pages of the book he’s perusing. NamJoon is too absorbed in the book to notice one of them calling for his attention. SeokJin recalls a memory from their school days when he found NamJoon reading alone in their classroom hideout: he asked why NamJoon read so diligently, and his friend explained that he found it comforting to empty his thoughts of everything else while focused on the book. In the present, SeokJin wonders how he forgot how much books mean to NamJoon. He sacrifices some of his food and transportation budget to afford them, but they enable him “to endure the weight of the world he’s forced to bear on his shoulders.” After realizing this, SeokJin wants to apologize for carelessly sympathizing with the reality that NamJoon has weathered alone.

The next episode is from NamJoon’s perspective, revealing his excitement over being able to purchase a book for the first time in two months. He wants to buy two but can only afford one. The employee at the register sighs and asks why he leafed through a book he wasn’t going to buy. NamJoon apologizes, and she mutters, “So dirty.” He notices his reflection, clothes worn and smelling of gasoline, and realizes she’s talking about him, not the book. He tries to shake off these depressing thoughts, but he is still not accustomed to this treatment despite experiencing it regularly at work. As NamJoon begins to exit the store, the security alarm goes off. The employees demand to check his bag despite his insistence that he didn’t steal anything. Their certainty of his theft angers him. NamJoon allows them to look through his bag, and they are suspicious of the like-new book in it which he brought from home. One begins to call the police until SeokJin appears, vouching for NamJoon by saying he saw everything. The employees accept that the alarm malfunctioned and excuse their suspicions as a mistake.

Outside, SeokJin asks NamJoon if he is all right. NamJoon is thankful but wonders how SeokJin materialized right when he needed him. “How’d you find me here?” he asks aloud. SeokJin explains that he happened to notice him while walking through the neighborhood. NamJoon wonders if it’s because they said goodbye on a weird note last time. He thanks him and turns to leave. SeokJin calls after him. “I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you that day at the gas station. It was a mistake to have called you pitiful. If my rash actions hurt you, I’m really sorry.” NamJoon accepts his apology, believing it to be sincere, and says that things would have turned out a lot worse if SeokJin had not intervened. Thunder rolls overhead, and NamJoon uses the impending rain as his excuse to depart. He declines SeokJin’s offer of a ride and runs home, feeling his friend’s eyes on him.

Before he can settle down to read at home, NamJoon receives a call from his cheerful mother. She thanks him for paying off the entire hospital bill. NamJoon is perplexed and asks what’s on the receipt, since he didn’t pay it. His mother wants to leave it be, but he insists that they investigate so they don’t get in trouble or sued. She reads that the Songho Foundation is credited as the payer. NamJoon calls the hospital, introducing himself as the guardian for Kim YoungMin, but they can’t transfer him to the administrative department at this time. Disappointed, he looks up the foundation’s website, unable to recall why it sounds familiar. He wonders why a scholarship foundation in the city would get involved with him. Spotting photos of a recent launch ceremony on the site, he recognizes a few people: Songju High School’s principal, the familiar-looking face of the foundation’s chairman, and SeokJin. First, NamJoon forces a laugh, and then it’s difficult for him to breathe. He thinks that SeokJin really had pitied him at that moment. The only thing keeping NamJoon going is the idea of getting through life on his own strength. Why does he have to live like this?

The last episode opens on 5 May back in SeokJin’s perspective. He is confident now that he has saved NamJoon, although it occurs to him that a better alternative may have been to simply pick up the money himself instead of stepping forward. (This decision is enacted in a later loop and depicted in the Euphoria MV.) While reflecting on what comes next to save his other friends, he receives a text from NamJoon. “What’s your account number? I’ll pay you back for the hospital bills. I don’t need your help. I’ll handle my concerns on my own.” Heart sinking, SeokJin wonders how he found out. With a sense of foreboding, he tries calling NamJoon, but no one answers. SeokJin texts him back, pretending that he doesn’t understand, and tells NamJoon to call him. SeokJin’s second attempt connects while he’s gathering his car keys to visit the container. “That’s enough. Just send the account number over text,” NamJoon instructs. SeokJin coaxes him to talk for a moment, and NamJoon asks flatly, “Are you going to apologize again?” SeokJin attempts to salvage the situation, but his friend turns cold when he insists that NamJoon is misunderstanding and that he just wanted to help. “So, why? Why are you helping me?! Yeah, you’re always a good person. You’ve done nothing wrong and I’m the one misunderstanding.” SeokJin apologizes again. NamJoon refuses his request to meet in person. “No, I thought maybe there was a reason for everything you did… But I guess I misconstrued it. I’ll pay you back, so I’d prefer if you stopped contacting me.” Long after the call ends, SeokJin stands holding his phone, feeling that the glass is going to break at any moment. He wants to believe that it’s not over, but hope is slipping through his fingertips.

The episode finishes in NamJoon’s perspective. On 8 May and 9 May, he accepts part-time delivery work and reflects on his three jobs. Whenever he thinks he’s at his breaking point, he focuses on his new goal of returning SeokJin’s money. On 10 May, NamJoon wakes up to his buzzing phone and is called in to work. On a scooter, he passes by a bus stop and notices graffiti. (This is the same bus stop, with matching graffiti, that appears in the Highlight Reel.) Mesmerized, he wonders if it’s TaeHyung’s. As soon as NamJoon looks up, the scooter’s brake fails, and he crashes. The shattered glass on the cold pavement reminds him of the headlight shard and the kid who looked like TaeHyung. (So the piece of glass SeokJin saw in April was really a memento NamJoon retrieved from the scene of the crash in the mountain town, where the delivery boy whom he privately called TaeHyung died. This event is described in NamJoon’s 17 December Year 21 entry in The Notes 1.) NamJoon’s vision grows blurry, and the distant sound of an ambulance doesn’t come any closer.

The arc concludes there, but it obviously marks another reset for SeokJin. It is interesting to note that in this failed loop, NamJoon suffers the same fate that he narrowly avoided in the snowy mountain town before returning to Songju.

Please stay tuned for the next Highlights post featuring JungKook and YoonGi!

[evco-productions]

“Nope” (2022) Is So Bad I’m Bothering to Make an Entry About It

I remember the first time I saw the teaser trailer for Nope. I was in the theater seeing something else, and the title came on: NOPE, in big bold letters, and I turned to my friend and said, “I can’t tell if the title is discouraging me from seeing the movie or not.” That was meant to be a joke…but here we are, and this is one of the biggest disappointments of the summer for me. I would honestly feel less cheated if I had just gambled my ticket money and lost it that way.

Jordan Peele is one of those contemporary directors who just deserves to be celebrated based on what he’s managed to do from both a creative and a career standpoint. He got famous doing sketch comedy, then one day decided to become an independent horror filmmaker, and he was good at both. That’s impressive.

Now, I like both Get Out and Us. I don’t think they’re amazing, but they’re good, they’re well-constructed, and the barely-hidden social commentary in both is now basically Peele’s trademark as a writer/director. Horror has always been a great genre for social commentary. Peele understands this and he understands that audiences recognize and enjoy this, so he put it all over his first two movies. Nope is no different, so if nothing else, it delivers on that front. There’s some great meta-commentary here on movies and how we make them and how we watch them. People will be talking about the different potential meanings and interpretations of this movie for a long time.

Unfortunately, that is about the only thing Nope does right. I wish I could say this was another solid outing from Peele, but I cannot praise a movie solely based on its good intentions. Nope is not scary, it’s not thrilling, it’s rarely funny, and it’s just not interesting. The characters aren’t very well-drawn, I didn’t feel invested in their journeys or relationships, I didn’t care when they were in danger and the few times somebody died, I felt nothing.

Most of the cast was wasted. Daniel Kaluuya was very boring, and looked very bored, but I don’t think it’s his fault. I think Peele just wrote a weak character that doesn’t give its actor a chance to do anything on the level of what he did in Get Out. Steven Yeun and Keith David are totally wasted—I feel like both of them are here just because they wanted to say they’ve worked with Peele. As a result, Keke Palmer is the standout, but despite its small cast, this is an ensemble movie and she can’t be expected to carry it by herself.

The buzz around this movie suggested we were in for what would more or less be a Jordan Peele version of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, only probably a little creepier because Peele has established himself as a horror director.

Well, that is not what we get. One of the few effective scenes in this movie in which it appears there are aliens on the ranch is a fake-out. It turns out the UFO they are seeing is not a ship but some kind of sentient predator—which, I’m sorry, looks like a giant floating butthole. We were all thinking it, I’m just saying it.

This giant creature does nothing interesting. It’s like watching a Godzilla movie in which Godzilla just stands there for two hours—two hours! This movie is too long! Each new Peele movie has dared to grow a little longer than the last, as if he’s growing too confident in himself and thinks people will just watch anything he dishes out. He’s hardly the first director to fall into that trap, but that’s this whole movie in a nutshell. There’s no amazing climax, but it’s worse than that: there’s not really any building tension either. It’s hard to criticize a weak ending when there’s not even a strong beginning or middle.

I gotta be honest, I really did not expect to write this entry. Normally, I would consider a Jordan Peele movie to be too big of a movie for Just Admit It to cover, because the whole goal here is to talk about underappreciated movies. But Nope seems to be getting mostly good reviews, and that is so baffling to me, and this was such a disappointment that I had to add my opinion to the mix. I’m very sorry to say that this is Jordan Peele’s first bad movie and I hope he will do a lot better next time.

Are you a Jordan Peele fanboy or fangirl? Did you love Nope and hate this review? Feel free to turn my comments section into a profanity-laden, insult-driven shitshow, and I will see you next time.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

innocence - 24

PAIRING: bodyguard!bucky barnes x innocent actress!reader

WARNINGS: none

A/N: i took three weeks to post, i am very sorry but i’ll now be posting the holiday chapters i was supposed to but i got lost in eating mince pies. hope you enjoy xx

NEXT CHAPTER

   - Bucky, what are you doing? - Y/N smirked as she returned from set, still dressed in a scandalous dress covered by a beige rain coat. Small droplets of water covered the beige waterproof fabric which rolled onto the ground as she made her way further into the small flat. 

Bucky was sat in bed, looking at a pile of clothing thrown next to an open old military green rucksack by his feet. A few worn out brown leathered tags we attached to one of the handles and had she been wearing her glasses, she could’ve probably guessed what it was written on them. The brown haired man rose his head at the mention of his name, eyes widening at what she was wearing. He was used to seeing her in tight, revealing dresses but this dress was something else and he wondered how she could walk with such a skin tight garment. 

    - I’m just deciding what to pack. - he shrugged, trying to forget about the dress his girlfriend was wearing. 

   - Just pack warm. - she sat next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder, an immediate smile extending in her limps. - Mum said it might snow. Can you imagine, a white Christmas?

   - Did they give you a bad time on set?

A bad time? A bad time was an understatement. She had gotten an earful from everyone who passed by her that day from her manager to her personal assistant to even Mr. Hayworth who just screamed about how stupid she was. Even half the cast was upset, not enjoying the publicity it would bring to the movie and while she would normally end up crying in her trailer, Chuck ensured to follow her around to make sure she was alright. Yet, none of it matter. It was the last day of shooting before she got to go home to her parents and forget about the mess she had willingly created. It was only a day before she could spend the holidays with someone who chose her and kept choosing her for the first time. It really didn’t matter if she had a bad time, things were starting to look up for her. 

    - Other than the stripper dress? Not as bad. - she giggled. Bucky looked at her, trying to peak through the coat. - I was thinking ... maybe we should have a nice long bath together? I’ll light some candles, get some nice wine from the shop down the street.

    - You little vixen, I still have to go see my sister. If I take a bath with you I will end up staying much more time than I should. - Bucky kissed the side of her face. - Did you wear that dress just to tempt me?

    - I would never. It is not my fault you cannot control yourself. 

    - That dress is staying until I come back, though.

    - I want to come. - she got up from the bed, pulling the dress from her body and grabbing her white jumper and pair of jeans from the wardrobe. - You’re meeting my family, it’s only fair I meet yours.

    - I’ve told you already, princess. We don’t wanna poke the media, they’ll bite us back with no mercy. I don’t want people hurting you because of me.

    - You can’t sneak me into a care home? My, my, Mr. Barnes, I thought you could get anyone into anywhere. Your CV said so.

   - Are you doubting my abilities, princess? - he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closing to him before starting to tickle her sides. - It’ll be boring to you, my princess. Just stay here, put back that tight little dress and I’ll make it worth your time.

   - No way. I’m meeting your sister. 

   - No baby pictures, Y/N. 

   - I would never. - she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hard felt yet soft kiss. - Only childhood stories. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, handing her the jacket and hat as they made their way onto a taxi. Bucky visited his sister a lot but he’d never mentioned Y/N. Not that he didn’t want to, of course he did. In all honesty, he could speak about his girl for as long as someone allowed him. However, Y/N was still a public personality and he wouldn’t want to let something out that she wasn’t comfortable with people knowing. Besides, he knew how much his sister still adored to gossip and he wouldn’t want to possibly hurt Y/N or be the cause. 

She, on the other hand, was excited. She knew Steve and Steve was the oldest of Bucky’s friends but she never thought she would get to meet someone from his family or that he’d even want to introduce her to someone from his family. After all, he was a war hero and Y/N was an actress from a small town in London who everyone seemed to despise at the moment.

The man drove them up to small complex building of what seemed to be newly built flats. Bucky was the first one off the taxi, running up to her side so he could open the door. It always left her feeling like a school girl; the pageantry, it is. She never believed she would find someone and the fact someone rushed to go and open the door for her and held his hand out.

    - Anything you’d like to confess before I ask your sister? - Y/N teased, hugging him side eyes as he led her to the entrance.

    - Do not believe what she says, I did not date too many girls.

    - Steve disagrees with that.

    - How would you know what Steve agrees or disagrees with? 

    - I called him to wish him happy holidays.

    - I didn’t know you and Steve were friendly.

    - Don’t be jealous, love. I’m not stealing your best friend. - Y/N pinched his cheek playfully as the two of them stopped in front of a wooden door with the number 35 in gold numbers pinned to it.

Bucky knocked on the door, announcing himself before holding Y/N once again close to him. He went through his mind, wondering if there was anything Rebecca could tell which would upset her. Sure, he used to be a bit of a womaniser in his youth but Y/N knew that. He hadn’t gotten anyone pregnant, he hadn’t proposed and ran off, he was off the hook. Still, he didn’t like the idea of Becca telling Y/N about his past quests.

Y/N waited patiently until someone held the door. The first thing she noticed were her eyes, the same as Bucky’s and she could recognise them anywhere. The woman had perfectly styled grey hair and a smile on her lips as she recognised her brother.

    - Who is this lovely girl, Buck? You didn’t tell me you’d bring company, I would’ve gotten some biscuits. 

   - This is Y/N, she’s my girlfriend. 

   - Steve told me you were seeing someone, I just didn’t think she’d be this pretty. Come in, come in. - Becca grabbed Y/N away from Bucky leading her to the living room. - What you wanted is in the bedroom, Buck.

   - Behave. - Bucky told his sister before he went into the bedroom to look for what he had come in from. 

   - I have some photos I think you’d love to see, darlin’. - she pointed the couch for Y/N to sit in before waddling to the big mahogany bookcase. She had a huge collection of books from old classics to new contemporary masterpieces which Y/N would love to read someday. The house itself was cozy, way more comfortable than other care homes she’d seen but she guessed Bucky would’ve only allowed for the best for his little sister. - It’s been ages since I’ve seen one of Bucky’s girlfriends. Not that he used to bring them home, but I used to sneak in and take a peak. You’re definitely the prettiest of all of them. 

   - Thank you. - Y/N couldn’t help but feel her cheeks heat up.

   - Ah, there it is. - she dropped a photo album on Y/N’s lap. - My father gave my mother a photo camera and she went crazy with it. Too many photos. However, when Bucky was born, it was a special occasion. Dad used to say she wanted a professional photo taken with her Jamie. 

She pointed at a photo of an woman probably in her early 20s holding a baby wrapped in several blankets, accompanied by a man who Bucky resembled very much. Her fingers traced the face of the baby, a little smile forming on her lips. It was nice to see him like that, normal. No mentions of the Winter Soldier, no pain, none of her constant drama due to her profession.

   - He was the eldest of four and despite what my mother would say, he was always the favourite. The only boy. He got away with whatever he wanted.

   - Bucky has three siblings?

   - Three sisters. Some of them didn’t survive. It was war. - her voice softened with sadness as she turned the page for a photo that Y/N wasn’t expecting to see. The same woman from before, his mother, was hugging a shirtless Bucky who had some boxing gloves on. Her face contorted into curiosity as Bucky exited the room and leaned against the couch, standing next to the two women.

  - What are you two ladies looking at? - Bucky kissed Y/N’s head, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

  - I think Y/N is very curious about your welterweight boxing past.

  - You did boxing?

  - Princess, I was a three-time YMCA Welterweight boxing champion. - Bucky closed the album before any of the photos of him with some of the ladies he used to hang around with showed up. - Becca, we should get going. We have an early flight tomorrow. 

  - You need to bring her more often. - Rebecca got up from the couch to accompany them to the door. - Did you find what you were looking for?

  - Yes, Beccs. Thank you so much for keeping it all these years.

  - Pretty sure mum would come back to haunt me if I hadn’t. Have fun meeting the parents. - she kissed Bucky’s cheek allowing for the two of them to leave. Bucky immediately wrapped his chunky knitted scarf, something his grandma had knitted for him ages ago, around Y/N’s neck, pulling her to his side.

He couldn’t truly remember a time where he was this happy, so full of need to continue living. She really brought him to this sort of weird normality where his past didn’t seem to affect him or at least not as strongly as it usually did. The two walked into grey skies, it was probably going to rain but none of them cared, walking side by side like those couples on Christmas songs. 

   - A boxing champion? 

   - Knock it off, princess. - Bucky helped her into the taxi, telling the driver his address before fastening his seat belt. - It was a long time ago.

   - Do you miss her? - she questioned, leaning her head against his shoulder, watching the horizons run through in blurs. - Your mother. Rebecca said you were the favourite.

   - Rebecca is always saying that. - he scoffed. - I do miss her. She was a swell lady, always caring about us, not complaining whenever she had to travel around because of my father. She was the best mother someone could’ve asked for. She would’ve liked you.

   - You think so?

   - I know so. Dad would’ve liked you too so would aunt Ida. Of course there’s still my nephews and nieces and their kids, but they don’t really want to speak with me ... - she didn’t need to ask why, she could see it in his eyes why and it made her sad. It made her sad to think of his family not wanting to be with him, specially during the holidays. - But I’ve had Rebecca and Steve for all these years. They’re my family and now I have you.

    - Well, I can’t promise my family will like you but they’ll definitely found the fact I have a boyfriend amusing. 

   - You mean to tell me I don’t have any ex boyfriends I’ll have to fight once we get to London?

   - That’s just unfair, Bucky. You’re a three-time boxing champion. 

   - You’ll never let that one go will you?

   - Nope. Dating a three-time boxing champion is a new identity I can get used to. 

taglist: @disasterbii @lookiamtrying @buckysteveloki-me @americasass81 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @lostinthebeans @mariahthelioness29 @buckyandsebastian @peaches-roses-sins @theadorasabditory @sipsteacasually @saiyanprincessswanie @booktease21 @noiralei @learisa @everythingisoverratedbutgreat @uglipotata72829 @naturalthrone22 @husherstan @mandiiblanche @vicmc624 @newyorkgoddess @itsallyscorner @chipilerendi @emzd34 @writerwrites @bluevxnus @that-girl-named-alex @captnrogers @nsfwsebbie @sarge-barnes-sir​

[zeldasayer]

I transcribed and translated Pedro’s interview from GQ Germany for all of us. I tried translating as good as possible but bear with me, English is not my mother tongue. By @sixties-loser

Pedro Pascal, the star from “Game of Thrones”, “Wonder Woman” and “The Mandalorian” talks about becoming an adult, film, fashion, corona – and a painful surgery in the exclusive GQ interview.

It seems almost eerie how empty the streets of LA are in the sunshine. Meanwhile a new normality seems to be coming to Europe, most people in L.A. are still cutting their own hair. Many have not seen their friends for half a year. The pandemic is out of control. The reaction towards it too. Inviting someone into their garden for a “distance drink” can cause the same distress as suggesting to switch spouses.

Therefore, it was particularly surprising that Pedro Pascal immediately accepted. He accepted the drink, not to switch spouses. He is one of the rising stars and newcomers this year – if it wasn’t for corona sending the whole film industry into a forced vacation, there would most likely not have been time for said drink. After having his skull crushed in “Game of Thrones” followed the lead role as a DEA agent hunting Pablo Escobar in “Narcos” in 2015 and now he is stepping towards big Hollywood films. From the 1st of October onwards the Chilean-born actor will be starring in the blockbuster “Wonder Woman 1984”. Moreover, the second season of the “Star Wars”-series “The Mandalorian” on Disney+ starring him as the lead is going to air in October this year – but he will be underneath a helmet. Well, we all are under a helmet in 2020 in one way or another. We want to meet the man who a few years ago still worked as a waiter in New York, whose parents were political refugees who found asylum in Denmark and settled in Texas and whose son one day signed up for a theatre group in High School.

Then, the cancellation! While we were in the middle of fixing up the house and the garden for the drink with Pedro and organizing the fashion shoot, which was not easy considering the safety measures in L.A., his management called with an unfortunate message: Pedro – no, not sick with corona – had to get emergency surgery because of a damaged tooth and was lying in bed with a swollen face that was hindering him from speaking and taking pictures. The sun is shining onto empty streets. And our empty garden.

A few days later he nonetheless arrived at our front door without a swollen face but still with threads in his mouth. He was not chauffeured by a limo-service but he came with his own car – he even picked up his make-up artist. He is helping her carrying all of her utensils into the house and declares: “I’ve got time today!”. What a celebrity! It seemed like we did not want to ask him how he made it to the A-List of Hollywood but he wanted to ask us how we made it to the A-list. Pedro Pascal! Yes, what kind of a celebrity?

Pedro Pascal: Sorry for messing with your plans. The surgery was an emergency.

GQ: Really? We were wondering whether the swelling wasn’t the product of a secret visit to the plastic-surgeon. Apparently, they are drowning in work because of the quarantine in Hollywood.

PP: I have to disappoint you. A few days before our appointment I was rushing to the hospital with a fractured tooth and the worst pain in my entire life – a hospital in which treats people with severe cases of corona. I was unable to reach any dentist! Right in front of the parking lot a specialist called me back. The pain was hell despite the ten injections I got. The doctor said I was not an exception because a lot of people are grinding their teeth because of all the stress.

GQ: What are you most afraid of at the moment?

PP: How the government is handling the pandemic is worrying me more than the virus itself. This shortage of intelligent management of the crisis is a moral shame. The leadership crisis in this country is turning us all into orphans – destitute and abandoned.

GQ: How did you spend your time over the last few months?

PP: I spent it with frozen pizza and sweatpants in Venice Beach. I live in a rear house that’s in a family’s garden. Actually, there are a lot of good takeout places nearby but for some reason I just love pepperoni pizza from the supermarket.

GQ: That does not really sound like movie star-lifestyle. What does it feel like being suddenly stopped from top speed to zero?

PP: Regarding what is going on around the world one should hold back one’s own mental turmoil. I would be lying if I was saying that I am not disappointed. The whole team put a lot of heart and work into the production of “Wonder Woman 1984”. We had a lot of fun on set. I wished to travel around the world and introduce the film with the same lively energy.

GQ: You come from a politically engaged, socialist family that fled from the Pinochet-regime in Chile. What do you remember from that time?

PP: My sister and I were born in Chile but I was only nine months old when we first found asylum in Denmark. From there we quickly came to San Antonio in Texas where my dad started working as a doctor at the university clinic.

GQ: Texas is not known as a socialist utopia. How did you assimilate?

PP: San Antonio is not a Cowboy-town but very diverse with big Asian, black and Latino communities. I remember it as a romantic place, culturally open. The culture shock only came as we later moved to range county in California. There the atmosphere was suddenly white, preppy and conservative.

GQ: How were you received in California?

PP: I’m still ashamed of the fact that I did not correct my classmates when they kept on calling me Peter. I am Pedro. Even if I didn’t grow up in Chile the country and the language are still a part of me. I was very unhappy in that environment. However, I was fortunately able to go to another school close to Long Beach where I felt more comfortable. Through the theater group at that school I found my way.

GQ: Were you able to visit Chile as a child?

PP: Yes, when my parents made it to the list of expatriates that were able to travel to Chile without consequences. First, there was a big family reunion and then my sister and I stayed there for a few months with relatives while my parents went back to Texas. They likely needed a break from us. They got us when they were very young, had a buzzing social life and my mother was obtaining a PhD in psychology.

GQ: Was your mother a typical young psychologist who wanted to apply her theoretical knowledge at home?

PP: You mean, whether I was her guinea pig? For sure! I remember strange tests and sittings that were disguised as games where someone was watching me react to different toys. I cannot have been older than six but I was already aware of the dynamic. My favourite thing was being questioned about my dreams. That was a wonderful opportunity to come up with fantastic stories.

GQ: Was that your first performance?

PP: Of course! My mother worried about my strong imagination because I was living in my own fantasy world rather than reality. I hated going to school. I was always categorized as the troublemaker. At one point, the topics at school became more interesting and my grades also went up. There are so many kids that are unnecessarily diagnosed with learning disabilities without considering that school can be abhorrent. Why is it so accepted to be bored in class when there are so many stimulating ways to convey knowledge?

GQ: Considering al that has happened this summer around the world: Do you believe that we can seriously demand social change now?

PP: I Hope so. After lockdown, the first time I went out was to protest for “Black Lives Matter” on the streets. The energy was peaceful and hopeful until the police provoked severe conflicts. Nevertheless, we cannot run from problems like we used to this time and we cannot distract ourselves from them either. It seems like the pressure of the pandemic led to a new clarity: We cannot go on this way.

GQ: The “Wonder Woman 1984” Trailer revives the optimism of the 1980’s. From today’s point of view, it seems almost nostalgic.

PP: That’s right. You really are happy for two hours. The director Patty Jenkins created a film full of positive messages. We shot in Washington D.C., then in London and Spain – this sounds like I am talking of a past time.

GQ: Do you miss traveling?

PP: I’m just now realizing the privilege of just packing up one’s stuff and being able to fly anywhere. An American passport used to guarantee unlimited travel. And that’s why it the small radius of our lives is actually unimaginable. Over the last years I often retreated for a break after shootings because I was constantly on the move and overstimulated. My friends were already complaining I had become too comfortable. We all took social contact for granted and are only realizing now how dependent we actually are on human contact. Over the last weeks I often longingly thought about all the parties and dinner invitations I declined.

GQ: In L.A. people spend more time at home or nature than in other metropolises that are more geared towards public life. Could this city become your second home after New York?

PP: My Real Home are my friends. I have been a nomad since I was little and I do not have a place where I have put down roots. Up until not long ago my physical home was a place in between departure and arrival. Therefore, it was something I did not want to complicate through the accumulation of stuff. On the contrary: Without having read Marie Kondo’s book I have freed myself from excess baggage over the last few years and I lived relatively minimally.

GQ: Is there nothing you collect or something you just can’t throw away?

PP: Books! I even still have the literature I read when I was a teenager and when I was in college. Recently, I stumbled upon a box full of old theatre manuscripts and materials from my time at the New York University. I also cannot part from art easily, just like I cannot part from lamps or old photos. On the other hand, I can easily get rid of furniture and clothes.

GQ: Do you remember roles that were really only completely defined through the costume?

PP: Yes, I am particularly thinking about “Game of Thrones”. At that time I understood for the first time what it meant to be supported by a look. This is thanks to the costume designer Michele Clapton. She created very feminine robes and brocade coats for my character that nevertheless looked masculine when worn and I felt very sexy in them. Of course, Lindy Hemmings power-suits and Jan Swells bleached hairstyle for the tycoon-villain in “Wonder Woman 1984” were very important as well. At first I did not really see myself in the role because the cuts and colors of the 80s do not really fit my body. I’m more the 70s type.

GQ: Do you incorporate those inspirations into your personal wardrobe?

PP: In my free time I choose comfort over a cool look these days. Sometimes I miss the times when I expressed myself through a certain style. It is hard to imagine that I went to Raves as a teenage in the 90s; I was a real club kid with ridiculous outfits: overalls, balloon pants, football shirts and a top hat, like in Dr.Seuss’s “Cat in a Hat”. Later in New York I was hanging out with a group of people that felt it was very important to have a certain style. The fact that I am basically only wearing sweatpants everyday is actually tragic.

GQ: whoever plays roles in comic book adaptations becomes a bodybuilder and eats ten chicken breasts a day. You don’t?

PP:My body would not agree with that. It is hard enough to stay in shape normally. When you’re in your mid-forties you have to live with a lot more discipline. Up until before my tooth-incident I worked out with a trainer in my garden multiple times a week to keep the quarantine body in check.

GQ: Apart from the personal trainer, are you in a steady relationship?

PP: I am not ready for that yet. Maybe at some point I will be but until then I’ll let it be. I can’t even offer you absurd corona dating stories.

GQ: What would annoy you the most if you were your own roommate?

PP: I can be quite controlling. I have to conjure all my humanity to prevent myself from going through my entire film collection. When I don’t want something I cannot keep it to myself or be passive-aggressive, I always have to take it to the frontlines. Other than that, I tend to have tunnel view: when I am not feeling well I cannot imagine to ever feel better again. I have trouble relativizing my emotions or to wave off problems. Method-acting would really not be for me. This is why I try to only work on projects that feel good, where there is mutual support and encouragement.

GQ: When we were trying on the clothes earlier you spoke of a lack of self-confidence. How does that get along with a career like yours?

PP: Isn’t it interesting how these characteristics and circumstamces relate? Self-worth comes from inside but it is also influenced by what society values because we often internalise the public gaze. I have lived in New York for 20 years, I studied there and made a living by working as a waiter until my mid-thirties because the theatre and film jobs I got did not pay the bills. There were so many times I was almost there. The disappointment of having missed the perfect role or opportunity by a hair’s width can be crushing. When should you give up and what is plan B? That is a question that is not only on many actors‘s minds but also on many others minds who struggle for a living – no matter how much potential they have or how close they seem to be to the top. We are seeing now how our narrow definition of success destroys society. At the same time, we are realizing that where we come from and the color of our skin still decide whether we can exist with dignity.

GQ: What are the positive aspects of a relatively late success as leading-man?

PP: I feel like I can decide over my own life without the pressure of having to accept projects or to have to present a certain identity on social media. This is for sure also because I am a man. Regardless of age, Women have to try harder to stand out.

GQ: Life always consists of risk management – now more than usual. For what would you risk losing something?

PP: Generally, when you never risk something you might never get ahead. That is for friendship, love, work and creativity. I have to be ready to take risks for the things that really matter to you.